You Drive Me Crazy
by Ryfightian
Summary: Callie and Arizona are roommates and friends. Arizona brings home someone she shouldn't have and, in doing so, turns Callie's life a living hell. Can Callie forgive her? AU. Calzona endgame. Callica never happened, nor will it. Rated T for language. May become M later.
1. Chapter 1: Promiscuity and Punishment

**A/N Kind of drew a bit of a blank for my other story so I wrote this as a bit of fun. If you like it I'll continue.**

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**9:00am. Present day.**

Callie pottered around the kitchen in her underwear, humming to herself whilst she acquired the ingredients to make herself a morning cup of coffee. She thought back to the nightmarish day she had at work yesterday. As if it wasn't bad enough that she had been given the 'death-shift' as everyone called it: the 3-11. 3pm until 11pm; you get the people who forget that lunch is supposed to be eaten at 12, the dinner rush at 7 and then you have to clean everything by yourself whilst everyone fucks off to their nice warm homes.

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**5:00pm the day before. Callie's work.**

Callie was cleaning tables in the restaurant a little half-assedly, trying to nurse her hangover and do her job at the same time, when Mark came up to her, continuing their usual banter and said, 'Callie, you're shit' before grinning, sauntering away and showing off by using his freaking super-speed to clean five tables on his way to the kitchen, all whilst holding a tray of dirty dishes above his head. Callie felt too ill to even try to come up with a witty retort to yell at his back. Everything else was all well and good (if you discount the hangover) until she saw Erica emerge from the kitchen and use her index finger to beckon Mark over to her. Everyone knew what Erica coming out onto the floor meant; either you'd fucked up or you'd REALLY fucked up. She was the business manager; the head of the restaurant, save for the owner himself and his own personal lapdog. Callie was none the wiser as to what Mark might have done to piss Erica off, and so visibly paled when she saw Mark walk over to her after his own scolding and make a hand gesture that clearly said 'Erica wants to talk to _you_ now.'

She slowly made her way over to the manager who was standing by the railings of the stairs, decked out in her pristine white shirt and black silk scarf necktie. Callie looked down at her own, now stained, checked shirt and blue necktie and wondered how the other woman managed to keep her shirt so clean whilst at work. An hour on the restaurant floor and Callie was bound to have a ketchup stain or something similar on hers. The difference in uniform showed that Callie was ranked well below the blonde who was now towering over her.

"I've just had a complaint from that woman over there," Erica began, pointing to a short, stout brunette woman sitting with a child in one of the corners of the restaurant, "saying that it is unacceptable for the staff of a family restaurant to swear in front of children."

Callie's brain immediately went on overdrive and her face tried to not betray the inner turmoil she was experiencing, 'shit, when did I swear and how did she hear me, it could have been any number of times,' she thought, but decided to play it cool and feign ignorance.

"I don't know what you're talking about, I've never sworn in front of a customer." Callie said stoically. For some reason she thought of Arizona and what state she would be in if the tables were turned and she was in Callie's situation. Callie couldn't help smirking a little at the past memories of her friend's experiences with authority figures. Although, she would admit, Erica was fucking scary and was probably a few steps away from making her break down in tears too.

"I don't know what the fuck you're smirking about Callie because you may not have sworn in front of a customer but you also didn't tell me when Mark did," Erica yelled quietly, careful not to draw the attention of other patrons.

Callie just blinked in astonishment. "Uhhh, what?"

"You heard me, why did you not report him to me, I deal with all complaints and I could have stopped this going all the way to Head Office."

"I… uh… I didn't know," Callie stuttered, utterly bemused that she was being yelled at for not grassing Mark up for swearing. "I didn't know we had to report swearing to you."

"Are you being fucking cheeky Callie? Do you know how lucky you are to have this job? We hired eighteen Christmas temps and we only kept on four, two of whom were you and Mark so you better watch yourselves. I've given Mark an official reprimand and if it happens again you're both fired. Do I make myself clear?"

Callie stood there, struck dumb once more.

"Well, do I?!"

"Y-yes. Perfectly clear. Won't happen again."

"Good. Now go home."

Callie looked at her, puzzled, "but it's half past five; my shift doesn't end for another five and a half hours. I can't go home; Sarah didn't show up for her shift today so I need to be here."

Erica, who was halfway down the stairs on her way back to the kitchen, stopped and turned around to face Callie.

"Callie. Don't talk back to me. Clock out and go home."

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**9:15am. Present day.**

Arizona opened the door of her bedroom ever so slightly and poked her head around the corner searching for Callie.

"Callieeeeeeee," she yelled, drawing out the last syllable. "Put some clothes on, I have a guest."

"When do you never have 'a guest?'" Callie yelled back, air-quoting the last part of the sentence and raising her eyebrows suggestively. "And when do _I_ ever wear clothes before I've had my coffee? It's too much effort!"

Callie ducked as a pair of sweats and a tank top were flung in the general direction of the kitchen; the top landing in the living room and the pants landing over the little half-wall that separated kitchen and living area.

"Fine but only because you asked nicely!" Callie yelled as the head retreated to the other side of the door, going to retrieve the offered clothes. Arizona popped her head back out as Callie pulled the tank top over her head so that she was no longer in just her bra and panties.

"I didn't ask nicely," she said with an adorable look of confusion on her face.

Callie rolled her eyes and saw illumination creep over Arizona's face, "ohhhh, sarcasm. I get it."

"You're perceptive," Callie threw back, grinning. This time it was Arizona's turn to roll her eyes.

"We're coming out now," she stated. "Be nice."

"I always am," Callie replied, an evil grin twitching at the corners of her lips.

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**7:00pm the day before. Teddy's apartment.**

"Teddy!"

Teddy heard the shrill noise that she had come to love which signalled the arrival of her almost unbearably perky best friend.

"Arizona that key is for emergencies only," Teddy play-scolded, she couldn't bring herself to pretend to be irritated when the blonde unceremoniously arrived at her place. Arizona dropped all the bags she was carrying in Teddy's kitchen with an almighty crash.

"Did you buy out the liquor store again Arizona? Because if that's the third time now then we may have to talk about taking you to AA."

"Haha very funny, they ran out of vodka one time. Once! And I'm not even sure if it was my fault."

"Mmmhmm," Teddy said patronisingly, still grinning. "So what are we doing tonight? Celebrating? Drowning our sorrows? Pretending it's the fourth of July again? Oh, actually, can we do that? It was so much fun last time! Well, until Callie lit that firecracker and Mark was too close and it accidentally grazed his ass. He made me look at it to see if he needed to go to the hospital. It was not at all how I imagined seeing Mark's butt for the first time." Teddy's eyes glazed over a little.

"Teddy." Arizona clicked her fingers in Teddy's face in an attempt to bring her best friend out of her stupor. "Can you stop thinking about Mark's butt for two seconds and get us some glasses?" she asked, pulling various dodgy looking bottles filled with suspicious looking substances out of her many bags.

"Uh, Arizona?" Teddy questioned, looking warily at Arizona's wares, "not that I don't trust your mixing skills, because I do, but if I'm going to be drinking anything green, blue or brown, I'm going to need to know why."

"I need sex." Arizona stated plainly. "I don't care with who, I'm just really, REALLY horny." She spoke with such normality that if you didn't understand the language you'd probably think she was commenting on the weather or contemplating what to make for dinner.

Teddy's eyes widened and she took a step back, Arizona turned to look at her, "oh god not with you Teds. I mean, not that there's anything wrong with you, it's just, I need sex, with someone, who isn't you. Um. Yeah."

Teddy raised an eyebrow, listening to Arizona's ramblings with amusement.

"Am I your wingman?" she asked. "Because we both know that I make an awful, awful wingman."

"No, you're just my," Arizona paused for a moment, trying to think of the right word, "moral support," she finished.

Teddy grinned, "moral support, I like it. So if you start to chicken out then I have to talk you back into it?"

"Exactly," Arizona clarified, "now come on we are hitting the town! But I'm poor so we have to be drunk before I leave," she passed Teddy an iffy looking black drink that had a hint of purple, "drink up Teds, you're going to need it."

**11:00pm**

Teddy watched Arizona grind up against a blonde woman whilst she sat at the bar and downed the last of her vodka blackcurrant. Arizona was right; she would need more alcohol if this was to be her only entertainment for the night.

Arizona turned to the blonde whose arms she was in and looked up at her.

"Your place or mine?" she asked.

"Yours," the woman replied.

"Why do I even come out with Arizona when she's like this?" Teddy thought, "It's like I want to be ditched at a bar to try fend for myself." Teddy turned away from the door the blonde had just left through and found herself facing an incredibly attractive, well-built guy with brown hair.

"Arizona I am sorry I ever doubted you." Teddy sent a telepathic apology to her best friend and turned to her new companion with a massive smile on her face.

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**9:17am. Present day.**

Arizona practically bounced out of her bedroom into the kitchen and pulled Callie into a bone-crushing hug, causing her to spill a little of her coffee on the counter-top.

"Hot coffee, hot coffee, hot coffee Arizona!" Callie yelled, although still amused by her friend's antics.

"I got laid last night!" Arizona yell-whispered, still bouncing up and down far too near to Callie's coffee for her liking.

"Yes. I heard. You're loud." Callie said, not even trying to hide the innuendo from her voice and her face.

"Eeeeeee," Arizona squealed again, reaching on her tip-toes to grab a mug from the top shelf.

"Is the coffee for her or for you?"

Arizona snorted, "what the fuck do you think, I'm hungover, it's clearly for me."

"Charming," Callie said, smirking as she heard Arizona's bedroom door close, "well it looks like I'm about to meet this mystery woman that has made you so very, very, very, annoyingly happy," Callie said, turning on her heel to get a look at Arizona's latest conquest.

Arizona yelled in shock as she heard the sound of a mug crashing to the floor and shattering into pieces.

"Callie, what the fuck? I told you not to drink out of my favourite mug because you're clumsy and you'll break it. But noooo, you always insist upon it anyway and now look what's happened!" Arizona yelled at Callie as she bent down to pick up the pieces. "Well don't just stand there! Help me clean up the freakin' mess you made!"

Arizona finally looked up at Callie who still hadn't spoken a word and found her standing perfectly still, with her hand still in the position that it would be if it were holding a mug. Arizona followed her eye-line as she slowly stood up and found that Callie was staring at her house guest. Arizona raised herself up on her tip-toes to whisper into Callie's ear.

"Okay I know she's not that attractive but is 'smash my favourite mug' really an appropriate punishment? In my defence, she looked better in the dark, in the club, with strobe lighting and my beer goggles on."

Arizona's little ramble in Callie's ear was cut off by the voice of the stranger in the house.

"Callie," she acknowledged.

"Erica," Callie replied.

"Are you working later?" the intruder asked.

"Nope."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Alright. Bye." Erica finished awkwardly and almost ran out of Callie and Arizona's apartment.

"How do you know her?" Arizona asked, puzzled.

"You know that homophobic bitch in work who always makes me stay late, doesn't let me take my breaks and told me off yesterday for not being a grass?"

"Yeah, you come home every time you're both on shift together with a new story about her. She's a right piece of work," Arizona said scowling.

"Yeah. Well, apparently she's a lesbian. And you fucked her last night," Callie said in a monotone voice and followed the path of the earlier unwanted guest; right out the door.

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**A/N Please review it helps me write.**


	2. Chapter 2: Pride and Prejudice

**A/N Alright the general consensus is for me to go on with this story so here goes.**

**Sorry it's been so long, I had tonsillitis and then bronchitis. Still recovering.**

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**12:02pm, Tuesday, Callie's work**

Callie walked into work the next day with a growing sense of dread. She hadn't talked to Arizona since she'd found out that she had slept with her boss in a moment of drunken insanity. She knew that it wasn't the blonde's fault that the woman she picked up just happened to be Callie's boss (and the devil incarnate) but she still couldn't help being monumentally pissed off at her. Callie walked into the kitchen, praying with everything she had that Erica wasn't the shift manager on duty that day. She clocked in, looked around for the she-devil and, not spotting her, breathed an inward sigh of relief. Until she heard the harsh tones of the person she had been most desperately trying to avoid.

"Callie! You're late! Do back-up!" Erica strode over to her and practically pushed her in the direction of the cleaning cupboard. 'Doing back-up' was everyone's worst nightmare. It was usually reserved for the kitchen staff who were on shift during closing but it was also used as a punishment for staff members who had _really _pissed the management off. 'Back-up' was the back corridor and the trash room and whoever drew the short straw (Erica had made sure that today it was Callie) would have to clean it.

"And when you've finished that, I want you to detail the break room and clean the cupboard on the restaurant floor," Erica added before flouncing back into her office.

Callie sighed and entered the cleaning cupboard. She turned on the tap and positioned the mop bucket under it, squirting a bit of detergent in as well; she really was not looking forward to this. She was a waitress; this wasn't even in her job description! Why was Erica being such a bitch today?

Back-up was always disgusting because it was on the way from the store-room to the kitchen; everyone always dropped things, spilled things and didn't bother cleaning up after themselves. Not to mention that the trash room always smelled awful. Callie resolved that she would clean it all as quickly as possible so that she could get back out onto the floor and actually wait on customers instead of being forced to be Erica's lackey. Mark sauntered into the cleaning cupboard to retrieve some clean cloths just as Callie turned off the tap, having finished making up her mop water.

"Hey Callie, you'll be out on the floor soon, right? It's kind of insane out there, we need you. Addie's about to lose her shit." He said as he picked out three clean cloths from the red basin and wrung them out over the sink to get rid of the excess water.

"Nope. Apparently today I am Erica's bitch," Callie said bitterly, replacing the dirty mop head with a clean one. "She's got me doing back-up. And the break room. And the freaking cupboard on the floor."

Mark just blinked at her with a confused expression on his face. "What did you do to piss her off this time? She didn't even send my reprimand to Head Office, I'm her favourite person again. Why does she hate you?"

"She's a lesbian," Callie deadpanned.

"I KNEW IT!" Mark screeched. "I told you didn't I?! I knew she was gay from the moment I met her! I have like, super-gaydar!" He paused, "wait, what does this have to do with the fact that she's made you her bitch? Did she ask you out and you said no? Bad move Callie. She will destroy you. No one says no to Erica. Man up and take one for the team. It can't be that bad, can it?"

Callie gave him a withering look, "no Mark, she did not ask me out."

"Well then how is the fact that she likes vagina even relevant?"

"You're charming." Callie said, raising an eyebrow. "I don't know why she's being a dick to me. I mean, she slept with Arizona a couple of nights ago and we had a bit of an awkward encounter yesterday morning when she was doing the walk of shame… Do you think that's what it is? Is it about Arizona?"

"Probably. Maybe Arizona never called her back and now she's taking her anger out on you. That's just a guess though."

"Well, knowing Arizona that actually sounds about right." Callie sighed and put her mop into the bucket and started wheeling it out of the closet by the handle when the door flew open and almost knocked her off her feet.

"Hey wow, watch it! You almost decapitated me!" Callie yelled at the intruder.

"What are you doing with a mop?" the figure asked accusingly.

"Erica said…" Callie started.

"I don't give a shit what Erica said, get out on the floor now. You too Mark, it takes less than a minute to get cloths, not five, gossip with Callie on your own time, not my time!"

"Addie."

"What Callie!"

Callie put her hands on Addison's shoulders, "Addie just breathe."

Addison's body visibly relaxed at the soothing sound of Callie's voice and all the fight seemed to drain out of her as Callie pulled her into a hug.

"I'm just so fucking stressed today."

"I know, I know, Erica's an asshole and has this place understaffed and running on 15% labour. What I want you to do is to go up to the break room for ten minutes. When you come down, me and Mark will have everything sorted for you, okay?"

Addison removed herself from Callie's arms and smiled tiredly, "okay."

"Right," Callie turned to Mark, "we have ten minutes. We've got this."

Mark grinned, "yes, yes we do."

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**30 minutes later, Restaurant Floor**

"I think that's it. The rush is over. It should be quiet from here on out," Callie said, handing the floor manager her cloth. "I have to do back-up now or Erica will bite my head off. I was supposed to start," Callie glanced at her watch "shit, half an hour ago. Better get going."

Addison took the cloth and smiled at Callie gratefully, "okay."

"Hey!" she yelled at Callie's retreating form as she walked towards the kitchen. The brunette turned back to look at her, "thanks, Cal. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Callie grinned as she opened the door, "no worries, boss," and immediately stopped as she found herself face to face with a certain blonde, angry-looking manager. "Okay, maybe worries."

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**5 minutes later, Erica's office**

Callie sat with her arms folded, defiantly staring up at Erica as the woman yelled at her.

"If Addison tells you to do something and I tell you to do something, you do what I say! I'm ranked higher!"

"Addison's my immediate manager; help was needed on the floor so I helped. I knew back-up would still be dirty when I was finished."

Erica slammed a hand down on the desk, "that is not the point; you intentionally disregarded what I told you to do in favour of a less important manager and so you have to be disciplined for that."

"I think we both know that this isn't actually about me not listening to you," Callie muttered under her breath.

"Excuse me?" Erica's voice went dangerously quiet.

Callie had an unexpected burst of bravery. "You heard me. I don't care about what you do or don't do with my roommate but me and her are separate people so don't punish me for something she did."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Erica replied.

"What?! Don't play that bullshit with me. I saw you leave her room, remember?"

Erica brought herself down on her hunkers so that instead of towering over Callie, she was now at eye level with her. Callie tried to edge back further in her seat, somehow this new position made her even more intimidating. Erica grasped the armrest of the chair and brought her mouth to Callie's ear.

"If you breathe a word to anyone about the other night, I will do everything in my power (and I have a lot of it) to get you fired. And," she paused, "I will make it impossible for you to get a job elsewhere. I have contacts. No one will want to hire you once they talk to me for thirty seconds."

Erica let go of the armrest and moved away from Callie slightly. "Are we clear?"

Callie stood up. "Yeah. We're crystal," she said with unadulterated loathing in her voice and started to walk towards the door.

"Oh and Callie," Erica added, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to suspend you for one week for your tardiness, inappropriate language and complete disregard for orders from management." And she couldn't help the grin that spread over her face after seeing the look of shock on Callie's.

"See you soon. Or not."

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**6pm, Callie and Arizona's apartment**

Arizona sat on the sofa, impatiently tapping her foot as she waited for Callie to come home. She hadn't seen the brunette in their shared apartment since yesterday morning when she had stormed out after meeting Arizona's conquest and the blonde was getting worried. Her worry immediately ceased when she heard a key in the lock but was immediately replaced with fear when the door was flung open and Callie stood there with a wild look in her eyes and a very pissed off expression on her face.

"Callie." Arizona stood up.

"No, Arizona. Don't even." Callie flung her keys into the bowl by the door. She started slowly walking towards Arizona. "Just. Don't. I have had the day from hell." She took a few more steps towards the blonde. "Why have I had a shit day you ask? Well, it probably has something to do with the fact that MY BEST FRIEND FUCKED MY SELF-LOATHING LESBIAN BOSS WHO NOW HATES ME BECAUSE I KNOW SHE LIKES GIRLS." She threw her bag down as she continued to stalk towards Arizona. "Or maybe it's the fact that she suspended me for a week today FOR NO FUCKING REASON." Callie was coming closer and closer to Arizona and the smaller blonde girl was genuinely frightened.

"Callie," she tried again.

"Shut up Arizona! I wouldn't even have this problem if you didn't fuck everything that moves!"

"Callie!" Arizona said again, this time with a warning tone. "Watch yourself."

"It's true though isn't it? When's the last time you slept with someone whose name you actually remembered in the morning?" Callie was now standing right in front of Arizona, practically spitting the venom from her words in her face.

"Callie, I mean it," Arizona repeated again, getting angrier and beginning to square up to the brunette.

"What? Afraid I'll say something I regret? Or are you afraid you'll hear something you don't want to hear? Face it Arizona, you're nothing but a dirty whore and I'm surprised you haven't contracted an STD yet with the amount of sluts you've let into your bed."

Callie felt it before she heard it: there was a searing pain in her check and then the harsh sound of the smack of skin on skin. Arizona had hit her. She felt the tears roll down her face as an instinctive reaction to the pain and felt them sting when they touched the cheek Arizona's hand had come into contact with. She looked up to see a similar sight in front of her; Arizona was crying too, but her eyes were filled with emotional pain rather than physical.

"Oh god Callie I didn't mean to… I just…" Arizona reached her hand out again but this time it wasn't to slap Callie but to cradle the brunette's still tender cheek.

Arizona seemed to have literally slapped the sense into Callie and the brunette's hand came up and clasped Arizona's as she realised what awful things she'd said to her best friend in the heat of the moment.

"Callie I'm so sorry…" Arizona attempted to continue but Callie cut her off.

"No, Arizona, I was out of line. It's not your fault. I'm so sorry I never should have said those things."

Arizona brought her hand away from Callie's face and back to her side and shuffled awkwardly, "they're true though."

"They're not true! So you enjoy having a good time, so what? It's not a crime to enjoy sex." Arizona still didn't look convinced. "You know that I don't actually believe those things I said, right? I was just angry. But not at you. I'm angry at Erica. And I should never have let her come between our friendship."

Arizona smiled a small smile. "I'm sorry too. For hitting you. And for sleeping with your boss." Arizona smiled sheepishly and added as an after thought, "and for using your toothpaste."

Callie gasped melodramatically, "I knew it!"

Arizona smiled weakly again, "Callie."

"No, shush, no more talking," the taller girl said, pulling the smaller one into a bone-crushing hug.

Arizona relaxed into her arms, feeling safe "I'm sorry," she whispered into Callie's ear.

"I'm sorry too."

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**A/N Hopefully I won't take as long with the next update.**

**Review please!**


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